{"id":2147,"date":"2017-12-24T12:40:08","date_gmt":"2017-12-24T12:40:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/?p=2147"},"modified":"2021-07-22T09:05:54","modified_gmt":"2021-07-22T09:05:54","slug":"the-right-thing-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/the-right-thing-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"The right thing to do"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_799\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-799\" class=\"wp-image-799 size-medium lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/woman-and-her-caregiver-300x213.jpg\" alt=\"elderly woman smiling with her caregiver\" width=\"300\" height=\"213\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/woman-and-her-caregiver-300x213.jpg 300w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/woman-and-her-caregiver.jpg 411w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/213;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-799\" class=\"wp-image-799 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/woman-and-her-caregiver-300x213.jpg\" alt=\"elderly woman smiling with her caregiver\" width=\"300\" height=\"213\" srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/woman-and-her-caregiver-300x213.jpg 300w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/woman-and-her-caregiver.jpg 411w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/noscript><p id=\"caption-attachment-799\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">image: iStock photo<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I was in Chicago for a couple of days recently. Among many things, one thing that\u00a0stood out for me was the number of homeless people who were not asking for money. One was just a young girl, who\u00a0couldn&#8217;t have been more than 18. Some of their\u00a0cardboard signs said things like,<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Please. I&#8217;m not looking for money. I&#8217;m just hungry and cold<\/em>&#8221; and &#8220;<em>Can you spare some food, please?<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Many of us mistakenly\u00a0imagine that homeless\u00a0people will spend money on alcohol or drugs. They just wanted food. But on that point, even if they would spend money on alcohol; how many of us, after a hard or stressful day at work, reach for a glass of wine or a beer as soon as we get home. It offers us comfort and an escape, of sorts. Why should it be different for homeless people, given the stress they live under? I guess I&#8217;m saying that we shouldn&#8217;t be so quick to judge.<\/p>\n<p>So, for the rest of the day, each time I saw such a sign, I popped into a shop to buy a sandwich, or something sweet or even warm and offered it to them. They were immensely grateful. In\u00a0turn, I felt\u00a0absolutely great inside.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I&#8217;m not at all\u00a0trying to impress you. Any kindnesses I do are tiny in comparison with the acts of\u00a0kindness done daily by millions of people around the world. What I wish to convey is that I often come across the attitude (mostly in\u00a0science and with males), that kindness is selfish if it makes you feel good.<\/p>\n<p>Some say, if it feels good\u00a0then you&#8217;re not doing it for them,\u00a0but for yourself. That I felt so good about buying food for these homeless people got me\u00a0thinking about this.\u00a0And here&#8217;s the thing.<\/p>\n<p>The reason kindness feels so good is because deep down we know it&#8217;s the right thing to do. When we help someone, we align our\u00a0actions with our core &#8211; our core identity. We are genetically wired for\u00a0kindness. The kindness gene, in fact, is 500 million years old &#8211; it&#8217;s one of our most ancient genes &#8211; which is WHY kindness impacts our biochemistry (see &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/molecules-of-kindness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Molecules of Kindness<\/a>&#8216; and &#8216;<a href=\"http:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/born-to-be-kind\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Born to be Kind<\/a>&#8216;). It&#8217;s our deepest nature.<\/p>\n<p>Helping others makes us happier\u00a0because were sensing that deep feeling of rightness, that &#8216;This is who I am!!&#8217; &#8230; &#8216;This is what it&#8217;s really all about!!&#8217;. Being kind touches that deep part of ourselves that cuts through all the crap and reveals a feeling of joy. Kindness doesn&#8217;t just make us feel good, it reveals joy.<\/p>\n<p>Let me say that again. Kindness doesn&#8217;t just make us feel good. It reveals joy.<\/p>\n<p>It cuts away the blocks to joy, to happiness, to peace.<\/p>\n<p>So my answer when anyone calls it\u00a0selfish if it makes you feel good, I&#8217;d say that&#8217;s merely a misunderstanding of where the good\u00a0feelings come from!<\/p>\n<p>So be kind during this holiday season. You never know the difference even one seemingly small act of kindness might make for someone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was in Chicago for a couple of days recently. Among many things, one thing that\u00a0stood out for me was the number of homeless people who were not asking for money. One was just a young girl, who\u00a0couldn&#8217;t have been more than 18. Some of their\u00a0cardboard signs said things like, &#8220;Please. I&#8217;m not looking for&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2639,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,56],"tags":[19,11,49,55,246,33],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The right thing to do - David R Hamilton PHD<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I was in Chicago for a couple of days recently. 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