{"id":2348,"date":"2019-04-30T22:10:41","date_gmt":"2019-04-30T22:10:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/?p=2348"},"modified":"2021-07-22T10:13:33","modified_gmt":"2021-07-22T10:13:33","slug":"acceptance-vs-assertion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/","title":{"rendered":"Acceptance vs Assertion"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_2349\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2349\" class=\"wp-image-2349 size-medium lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-300x182.jpg\" alt=\"Mountain landscape with hiking trail and view of beautiful lakes Ponta Delgada, Sao Miguel Island, Azores, Portugal. (Mountain landscape with hiking trail and view of beautiful lakes Ponta Delgada, Sao Miguel Island, Azores, Portugal., ASCII, 118 comp\" width=\"300\" height=\"182\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-300x182.jpg 300w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path.jpg 758w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/182;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2349\" class=\"wp-image-2349 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-300x182.jpg\" alt=\"Mountain landscape with hiking trail and view of beautiful lakes Ponta Delgada, Sao Miguel Island, Azores, Portugal. (Mountain landscape with hiking trail and view of beautiful lakes Ponta Delgada, Sao Miguel Island, Azores, Portugal., ASCII, 118 comp\" width=\"300\" height=\"182\" srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-300x182.jpg 300w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path.jpg 758w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/noscript><p id=\"caption-attachment-2349\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">image: iStock photo<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I\u2019ve been thinking a bit recently about finding the balance between accepting things as they are and going with the flow and asserting your will or pushing for what you want. There\u2019s a balance. There\u2019s a time and a place for both, but the more I accept and go with the flow, the more things seem to work out better.<\/p>\n<p>I was on a long-haul flight recently, flying BA from London to Sydney. During the second leg of the flight, after refuelling in Singapore, my TV screen wasn\u2019t working. That meant I couldn\u2019t watch the movie I was so looking forward to watching that would help pass the time over the next 7 and a half hours.<\/p>\n<p>The air stewardess tried resetting the screen a few times, but it just didn\u2019t work. I thought, \u2018Oh well, a great opportunity to get on with some study and meditation\u2019. She actually really appreciated the fact that I didn\u2019t get upset or annoyed in the slightest. I just smiled and thanked her for trying. In gratitude for my seemingly relaxed and accepting attitude, she handed me a couple of mini-bottles of red wine. So, I got on with some studying that I really needed to do. It turns out that it was exactly the right thing as I made a few insights that I hadn\u2019t made before that were really important.<\/p>\n<p>A few hours later came meal time. They didn\u2019t have any vegetarian meals (we were supposed to pre-order, but I hadn\u2019t realised). The air stewardess (a different one) apologised. Again, I decided not to resist things and just go with the flow. Fasting is actually really healthy, so I accepted the fact that I\u2019d do a kind of mini-fast. She seemed relieved that I didn\u2019t make a fuss. Oh, and she also gave me a couple of mini bottles of red wine by way of apology.<\/p>\n<p>About half an hour later, she appeared with a dish that she\u2019d \u2018borrowed\u2019 from business class. It was really good \u2013 a tasty mushroom pasta dish that wasn\u2019t available in economy class (coach), where I was seated. Since I had been so nice about it, she did everything she could to find me some food. Later, when we were being offered a sandwich before landing, she apologised once again, this time at the lack of vegetarian sandwiches. The first stewardess (of the TV screen) was in the opposite aisle and overheard. She quickly walked to the font of the plane and back again with a really lovely veggie sandwich for me.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes, we fight to get ourselves heard, or to get what we imagine we deserve and, granted, there are times when that is the right thing to do. I personally find, though, that when I don\u2019t resist and look instead for the opportunity or hidden meaning in what\u2019s happening,\u00a0if I just shrug, accept, and get on with things, I find that things tend to work out better.<\/p>\n<p>Acceptance in both instances brought me something better than the original thing I could have fought for. I got a lovely meal and a sandwich, great insights from my studies, accumulated 4 mini-bottles of red wine, and I brought a relieved and grateful smile to some faces due to my attitude.<\/p>\n<p>Part of acceptance, for me, comes from a belief that we are always being nudged, directed, drawn (call it what you will) towards things that are best for us. That\u2019s my belief, but it\u2019s useful to have beliefs about what acceptance means for us, even if it\u2019s just a belief that every cloud has a silver lining.<\/p>\n<p>Some people find it useful to seek a deeper meaning in what\u2019s happening, others find it a spiritual challenge to be able to accept and not resist; rising to the challenge of acceptance helps them shrug off seemingly challenging situations or even losses.<\/p>\n<p>Acceptance can be also be about letting go of things. Buddhists talk of the law of impermanence, that all things are transient and must change. Everything must change. Everything evolves and grows, even you. People have to accept the changes in you, lest you feel pressured to remain the same for them. And so, you must also allow others to grow and change as they need to. As the Buddhists say, \u2018Things come. Let them. Things go. Let them\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>Change is actually the only constant in the entire universe.<\/p>\n<p>Change is inevitable \u2026 except from a vending machine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve been thinking a bit recently about finding the balance between accepting things as they are and going with the flow and asserting your will or pushing for what you want. There\u2019s a balance. There\u2019s a time and a place for both, but the more I accept and go with the flow, the more things&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2636,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[306,260,60,61,307],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Acceptance vs Assertion - David R Hamilton PHD<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I\u2019ve been thinking a bit recently about finding the balance between accepting things as they are and going with the flow and asserting your will or\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Acceptance vs Assertion - David R Hamilton PHD\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019ve been thinking a bit recently about finding the balance between accepting things as they are and going with the flow and asserting your will or\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"David R Hamilton PHD\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-04-30T22:10:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-07-22T10:13:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"758\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"461\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"David Hamilton\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"David Hamilton\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/\",\"name\":\"Acceptance vs Assertion - David R Hamilton PHD\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-2.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-04-30T22:10:41+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-07-22T10:13:33+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/#\/schema\/person\/e586fb83860db4f70db4bc10ec3cc7d3\"},\"description\":\"I\u2019ve been thinking a bit recently about finding the balance between accepting things as they are and going with the flow and asserting your will or\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/acceptance-vs-assertion\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-2.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/acceptance-path-2.jpg\",\"width\":758,\"height\":461,\"caption\":\"Mountain landscape with hiking trail and view of beautiful lakes Ponta Delgada, Sao Miguel Island, Azores, Portugal. 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