{"id":2420,"date":"2020-01-22T13:36:20","date_gmt":"2020-01-22T13:36:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/?p=2420"},"modified":"2021-07-22T10:04:46","modified_gmt":"2021-07-22T10:04:46","slug":"20-ways-to-self-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/20-ways-to-self-love\/","title":{"rendered":"20 ways to self love"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_2425\" style=\"width: 144px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2425\" class=\"wp-image-2425 size-full lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/I-Heart-Me-small-logo.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"134\" height=\"146\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 134px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 134\/146;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2425\" class=\"wp-image-2425 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/I-Heart-Me-small-logo.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"134\" height=\"146\" \/><\/noscript><p id=\"caption-attachment-2425\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">image from &#8216;I Heart Me&#8217;, by David R Hamilton PhD<\/p><\/div>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Do you feel you need to work on your self love? Here&#8217;s 20 simple and powerful practices that can help you develop a healthy sense of self love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">1) Strike a power pose<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Your body language not only shows how you<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">re feeling in any moment, research shows that it also <i>creates<\/i> how you feel. It<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">s circular! So make regular adjustments to your body language throughout the day so that your body is saying, <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201c<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">I<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">ve got this!<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201d<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\"> or even, <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201c<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">I have an inner sense of worthiness and value.<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201d<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\"> Making this a daily practice will soon train your muscles and your nervous system for self love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">2) Visualise your best self<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">In many ways, your brain doesn<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t distinguish real from imaginary. If you imagine yourself in your best light your brain will process it as real and cause changes in your self-belief and confidence. So visualise yourself in a variety of situations, acting as your best self would act, and seeing the results you want. The key is to do this often. It<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">s the repetition that wires the brain.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">3) <i>Use<\/i> <i>Positive self-talk<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Negative self-talk can bring us down and eat away at our self love. So catch yourself as often as you can in the act of negative self-talk and say something positive about yourself instead. It might be regarding your appearance or something about your nature, or it might even be a reminder of something good you once did. It&#8217;s a good idea to create a stock of positive things to draw upon, which makes it much easier to change a negative into a positive.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">4) <i>Shrink it down<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">The mind responds to internal images and these images can affect how we feel about ourselves. When we feel afraid or something seems too challenging for us, it seems <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2018<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">big<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019 <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">in our minds. It&#8217;s like the thought or feeling is &#8216;in your face&#8217;. Negative feelings like this can erode self love. A simple trick, and it does trick the mind, is to take the image or feeling and imagine shrinking it down to almost nothing. It even helps to take your thumb and forefinger and slowly join them together as if making something smaller.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">5) <i>Love thy selfie<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Say, <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201c<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">I love you<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201d <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">or <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201c<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">I am enough<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u201d <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">every time you see your reflection in a mirror. Say it when you brush your teeth, do your makeup, dry your hair, and even when you catch your reflection in a shop window.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">6) <i>Choose<\/i> <i>gratitude<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">One of the practices that erodes our self love is when we focus predominantly on our faults or what we<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">ve done wrong. A practice of gratitude has the opposite effect, lifting us up instead of pulling us down. Start a gratitude practice that focuses on your good points. Start with 2 or 3 things on day 1 and then add 2 or 3 new things every day until you<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">ve practiced for at least 3 weeks and your list has several items on it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">7) Repetition! Repetition! Repetition!<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Whatever your self love practice, practice it every day. Repetition is how to wire brain networks for self love. This is how to learn the <i>habit<\/i> of self love. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">8) <i>Celebrate your uniqueness<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Don<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t try to be like everyone else. Conforming sends a signal that says, <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2018<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">who I am is not enough so I<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">m trying to be like someone else instead<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">. Make a choice to celebrate what<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">s unique and special about you. Let the world see your uniqueness and individuality and learn to be proud of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">9) Be authentic<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Be your Self. Live your own life. Don<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t be concerned about being liked or accepted. Be concerned with being yourself. Being authentic is a massive statement of self-love. It&#8217;s like declaring that &#8220;I am enough <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2026<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\"> just as I am.&#8221; Speak your mind, and do it with compassion where you can.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">10) <i>Be kind to yourself<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Treat yourself in ways that show that you matter. Take some time out, have a hot bath, take a walk in the park, treat yourself to something new that makes you feel good and declare that you are doing it because you<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">re worth it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">11) <i>Don<\/i><\/span><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t be afraid to show weakness or vulnerability<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Be courageous enough to show your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Let yourself be seen. If you want people to like you, then let them see You! Everyone feels weak and vulnerable at times so the courage to not hide is a strength. And in having that courage, you inspire others to let themselves be seen too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">12) <i>Be compassionate to yourself<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Give yourself a hug a few times throughout the day. Remember that nobody is perfect. You can<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t succeed or win all the time. You can<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t even be happy all the time. We are all human, with our humanness showing as we stumble and fumble through life, trying to find our way. Everyone has worries and problems, even if they appear outwardly confident and self-assured. Remember that you are only human.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">13) <i>Don<\/i><\/span><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t compare your <\/span><\/i><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2018<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">behind the scenes<\/span><\/i><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019 <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">with everyone else<\/span><\/i><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">s <\/span><\/i><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2018<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">highlight reel<\/span><\/i><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">We mostly see people at their best, or at least what we think is their best, but we<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">re all too aware of what we look like first thing in the morning, or how scared or vulnerable we feel at certain times, or how much we might lack confidence on the inside. As Steven Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church, says, we shouldn&#8217;t compare our &#8216;behind the scenes&#8217; with everyone&#8217;s else&#8217;s &#8216;highlight reel&#8217;. Everyone has stuff going on.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">14) <i>Tend to your wants and needs<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Learn to look after your own needs. Many of us get into the habit of looking out for everyone but ourselves. A mark of self love is to care for your own needs too. You can do both! Self love doesn<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t say to love yourself <i>instead<\/i> of others, <i>before<\/i> others, or even <i>after<\/i> others. In fact, it doesn<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t say anything about others at all. It simply says, <\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2018<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">love yourself<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\"> and you can do that while you go about your business of living our life, being kind to, and loving others.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">15) <i>Have courage to ask that your needs be met<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">We all have needs that have to be met, whether these are at work, in our relationships, or in life in general. When we are lacking a healthy self love we become fearful of asking that our needs be met. Practice having the courage to ask. It might mean risking rejection sometimes, but it<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">s better knowing that you had the courage to ask than living in fear of rejection. Who knows what might happen<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">16) <i>Design some self love affirmations<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">You don<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t always have to repeat, &#8220;<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">I love myself. I love myself. I love myself!&#8221;<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u00a0hundreds of times. Design an affirmation that fits where you are in your life right now and how you want to feel. You can even design one that<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">s a stepping stone to where you want to get to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">17) <i>Pull silly smiles<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Practice pulling huge silly smiles at random times in the day. Make sure you also do it in the morning, preferably shortly after you get up and also late at night before you go to sleep. Smiling like this sends signals to the emotional centres of your brain and increases positive emotion, especially because you<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">re doing it on purpose.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">18) <i>Push out your comfort zone<\/i><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Self love often lies at the edge of your comfort zone. Push yourself as much as you can with the intent not only to succeed in what you apply yourself to, but in the knowing that the attempt itself is a declaration of self love.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><span lang=\"EN-US\">19) <i>Don<\/i><\/span><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t take it personally.<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Try not to take things too personally, especially seeming criticism or when things don<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">t go to plan. Things only <i>seem<\/i> personal when we<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">re lacking in self love. When things are not working, it&#8217;s not a flaw in who you are. Set an intent to be more resilient and your self love will grow as a consequence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><strong><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">20) Act <\/span><\/i><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2018<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">As If<\/span><\/i><i><span lang=\"EN-US\">\u2019<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">.<\/span><\/i><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"Body\"><span lang=\"EN-US\">Just for today, act as if you had a healthy self love. In varying situations and interactions throughout the day, ask yourself, &#8220;H<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\">ow would I be or what would I do right now if I had a healthy self love?&#8221;<\/span><span lang=\"EN-US\"> Then do it! If it works out today, try it again tomorrow.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/david-hamilton.mykajabi.com\/personaldevelopmentclub\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-2421 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-800x800.jpg 800w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 150px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 150\/150;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-2421\" src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-1200x1200.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/PDC-advert_word-jumble-800x800.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/david-hamilton.mykajabi.com\/IHeartMeSchool\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1884 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/IHM-logo_withSchool-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 150px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 150\/150;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1884\" src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/IHM-logo_withSchool-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you feel you need to work on your self love? Here&#8217;s 20 simple and powerful practices that can help you develop a healthy sense of self love. 1) Strike a power pose Your body language not only shows how you\u2019re feeling in any moment, research shows that it also creates how you feel. It\u2019s&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":2425,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>20 ways to self love - David R Hamilton PHD<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you feel you need to work on your self love? 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