{"id":3869,"date":"2022-11-17T13:07:43","date_gmt":"2022-11-17T13:07:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/?p=3869"},"modified":"2022-11-17T13:07:44","modified_gmt":"2022-11-17T13:07:44","slug":"the-gratitude-jar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/the-gratitude-jar\/","title":{"rendered":"The gratitude jar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" data-src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"thank you spelled out in wooden blocks on a table, with soft white lights in the background.\" class=\"wp-image-3870 lazyload\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1800x1200.jpg 1800w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-2048x1365.jpg 2048w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 1024px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 1024\/683;\" \/><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1024x683.jpg\" alt=\"thank you spelled out in wooden blocks on a table, with soft white lights in the background.\" class=\"wp-image-3870\" srcset=\"https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1800x1200.jpg 1800w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1200x800.jpg 1200w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/drdavidhamilton.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Thank-you_iStock-1061946100-2048x1365.jpg 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/noscript><figcaption>image: iStock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>The word\u00a0<em>gratitude<\/em>\u00a0has its roots in the Latin,\u00a0<em>gratia<\/em>, for grace, gracefulness, or gratefulness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It can mean different things to different people. It can be something you think about on purpose. It can be an emotion you feel. It can be a personality trait \u2013 a grateful person. It can be a habit one gets into \u2013 an attitude of gratitude.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But even though it\u2019s imagined differently, we mostly all agree about what it means. To be thankful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thank you. I appreciate you. I am grateful for this thing or experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gratitude can also be a practice; something we intentionally do on a regular basis, like one might practice any skill. And just as practicing a skill makes you better at it, gratitude has some very positive consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One is that it helps us see the world more brightly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Blessings vs Burdens<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of my favourite <a href=\"https:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/pdfs\/GratitudePDFs\/6Emmons-BlessingsBurdens.pdf\">gratitude studies<\/a> examined the impact of gratitude on mental and physical wellbeing. In the study, volunteers were asked to focus on either things that they were grateful for or things they felt hassled by, to make a comparison between the two attitudes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After two weeks of doing this each day, the result was clear. Counting blessings had made them happier. Counting hassles had made them feel worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>How to practice gratitude<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There\u2019s lots of ways you can practice gratitude. You can do what the research studies typically do and make a list of things each day that you\u2019re grateful for; from the people in your life, the weather, your job, to things people have said or done, to good TV programmes you\u2019ve watched, etc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or you can do what some other people do; just before you get out of bed in the morning, spend a minute or two mentally listing things in your mind. Many feel it sets their day off on a positive note. Some people do this last thing at night instead and fall asleep contemplating their blessings of the day. Some feel it helps them sleep better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Irving_Berlin\">Irving Berlin<\/a> song, <em>Count Your Blessings<\/em>, from the film\u00a0<em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0047673\/\">White Christmas<\/a><\/em> and beautifully sung by <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Bing_Crosby\">Bing Crosby<\/a>, which won the academy award for best song in 1954, recommends it. The <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=DXKxazgio2s\">song<\/a> begins with the lines,\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><em>When I\u2019m worried and I can\u2019t sleep<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><em>I count my blessings instead of sheep<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can vary your practice too so you\u2019re not always focusing on the same things or in the same way. Rather than focus on general things, for example, your gratitude practice one day might list all the reasons why you appreciate a certain person being in your life and how they\u2019ve impacted on you.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another day might focus on listing a person\u2019s positive qualities. On another day, you might focus on your own positive qualities. Another day could see you focus on aspects of your body that you\u2019re grateful for. You could even list past things that you are grateful had happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can be infinitely creative. The world will always show up things to be grateful for. All you have to do is look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some people simply cultivate an attitude of gratitude in their day-to-day life. Rather than a structured practice, they train themselves to see blessings in life as they go about their day.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And the more they train, the easier it is to see and contemplate things they\u2019re grateful for, thus the more they see and the better they feel. In time, gratitude becomes a habit, and life as a consequence takes on a tone of having a little extra sunshine in the background.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the long term, gratitude becomes a habit. Feeling appreciative becomes a natural and quickly-accessed state. Feeling good becomes a natural consequence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, having an attitude of gratitude doesn\u2019t mean a person can never have a bad day or go through difficult times in their lives. Life happens. But what a gratitude practice can do is to take some of the sting out of seemingly stressful events. It can build resilience and lessen the impact of negative situations. The same things happen, but the resilience through gratitude helps you weather things better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Gratitude Jar<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of my favourite gratitude exercises is&nbsp;<em>The Gratitude Jar.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A lady who attended one of my talks once told me about it. It was an idea she and her husband had one year for a gratitude practice that could involve their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the start of the year, they put a large jar in the hallway and some pieces of paper and a pen beside it. Each time they or one of their kids felt grateful for something, they would write it down, fold the paper, and put it in the jar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It really encouraged the kids. They took to it with enthusiasm and in the process learned the meaning of gratitude and what it feels like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the end of the year \u2013 either on Christmas Eve or Hogmanay \u2013 they would open the jar and share out the notes. Then they would take turns to read out loud what was written on each piece of paper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It created laugher, awe, its own gratitude, and sometimes tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201c<em>I can\u2019t believe you noticed that<\/em>,\u201d \u201c<em>I didn\u2019t know you thought that way<\/em>,\u201d were said, along with things like, \u201c<em>I was just being myself<\/em>,\u201d and \u201c<em>I did it because I love you.<\/em>\u201d Scraps of paper brought back memories of words spoken, small kindnesses given, lifts to football and gymnastics practice, a recognition of the way Mum smiles when she walks through the door.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The jar (well, two jars actually as they filled the first) was filled with a years\u2019 worth of love and kind observations, mostly forgotten until a small piece of paper was read aloud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s my favourite gratitude practice, first, because it teaches children what gratitude is and why it\u2019s important. But also, as we are reminded to seek the good rather than the bad, the light instead of the dark, our minds are naturally drawn to the goodness and endearing qualities in those around us and the many gifts life has to offer.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These qualities and gifts have always been there. But in the busyness of life, we sometimes just forget to notice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At the start of the year, they put a large jar in the hallway and some pieces of paper and a pen beside it. 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