7 ways to develop your self love

image: iStock photo

1) Know it’s OK to not be OK

It’s OK to not be OK, or have a bad day, or to fail at something. It happens to everyone. Failing at something doesn’t mean you’re a failure, only that you didn’t manage to do something you intended. If you realise that it’s OK to fail or to not be OK, that’s a success!! Well done!

2) Love thy selfie

Say, “I love you” or “I am enough” every time you see your reflection in a mirror. Say it when you brush your teeth, do your makeup, dry your hair, and even when you catch your reflection in a shop window. Repetition like this will eventually wire the idea into your brain.

3) Strike a “Power” Pose

You smile when you’re happy and frown when you’re stressed because the brain’s emotional circuitry is connected to your muscles. But it’s a 2-way street. Your feelings show up as smiles, frowns and muscle tensions, but how you choose to hold and move your body feeds back to the brain and creates the way you want to feel.

So find a way of holding and moving your body that says, “I’ve got this” or “I have an inner sense of worthiness and value” or something similar, and do it as often as you can remember to.

4) Visualise your highest self

Your brain doesn’t distinguish real from imaginary. Frequently imagine yourself as your best self – with confidence and self love – speaking and interacting with people in the way you’d like. Don’t just imagine the end result though, but give important mental attention to the way you’re holding and moving your body as you create the result. 

5) Celebrate your uniqueness

Don’t try to be like everyone else. Be like yourself, however you are. Conforming to an idea of what you think people want only feeds the thought that, ‘I am not enough as I am’. Make a decision to celebrate what it is about you that makes you You. As they say, ‘Be Yourself. Everyone else is taken’.

6) Be kind to yourself

Treat yourself with the same kindness and care that you show others. Treat yourself, take some time for yourself, practice saying ‘No’ (or at least, ‘Not yet!’) instead of always saying yes. Let your hair down once in a while. You deserve it.

7) Stretch out of your comfort zone

The greatest gains in self love often lie just at the edge of our comfort zones. Knowing this actually makes it a little easier to stretch yourself because you know what the self love reward can be. Try not to be afraid of rejection or failure. Whatever the outcome, you stretched, and that’s a declaration of self love.

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  1. Ana Daksina on August 27, 2020 at 4:11 pm

    Nicely done

    • David R. Hamilton PhD on August 27, 2020 at 4:21 pm


  2. Bryan Hutcheson on August 28, 2020 at 10:18 am

    Really like this, David.

    • David R. Hamilton PhD on September 25, 2020 at 11:49 am

      Thanks Bryan.:-)

  3. Suzy on September 8, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    Such an inspiring post!

    • David R. Hamilton PhD on September 25, 2020 at 11:48 am

      Thanks Suzy. 🙂

  4. Genevieve on June 2, 2023 at 8:54 am

    Where can I find the video of you telling the journey you took with your dog had to be put to sleep? I love and am grateful for all your work. ❤️

    • David Hamilton on June 23, 2023 at 8:40 am

      Thanks for your kind words, Genevieve. I’m not sure I ever had it on video, to be honest. I told the story in my book, ‘I Heart Me’, but I don’t think it’s on video. I may be wrong, though, as there may be part of a talk that was filmed where I spoke about it, but I don’t think I’ve seen the video.

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