This week’s Better You, Backed by Science is about how happiness is often experienced three times.
A few days ago, I flew to Spain for the day to surprise my youngest sister on her 50th birthday.
She had absolutely no idea I was coming.
And the look on her face when she saw me was worth every mile.
But here’s something interesting.
My happiness didn’t begin when I arrived.
It began days earlier.
As soon as I’d booked the flights, I found myself smiling whenever I thought about surprising her. I imagined her reaction. I looked forward to seeing her. Even before the trip had happened, it was already adding something positive to my days.
Psychologists have known for some time that anticipation can be a powerful source of happiness.
When we have something enjoyable to look forward to, our brains begin responding before the event itself arrives. In other words, the pleasure isn’t confined to the experience – it often begins in the anticipation.
And then, after the event…
Something rather lovely happens again.
The memory can continue bringing us joy long afterwards.
So perhaps a wonderful experience doesn’t make us happy just once.
It can make us happy three times.
When we look forward to it.
When we experience it.
And when we remember it.
I find that deeply encouraging.
Because it means we don’t necessarily need to fill our lives with more and more experiences.
Sometimes we simply need to make more of the ones we already have.
Whether it’s a meal with a friend.
A walk planned for the weekend.
Tickets for a concert.
A family gathering.
Even something as simple as deciding that on Friday evening you’ll make your favourite meal and watch a film you’ve been meaning to see.
The experience itself might last only a couple of hours.
But the anticipation and the memories can stretch its impact far beyond that.
Try This
Here’s something to try this week.
Put one small enjoyable thing into your diary.
Nothing extravagant.
Just something that gives you a reason to smile when you think about the days ahead.
Then notice what happens.
You may discover that happiness begins earlier than you thought.
Because perhaps a richer life isn’t only about having more wonderful experiences.
Perhaps it’s about discovering that each wonderful experience has more to give than we realised.
References
Van Boven, L., & Ashworth, L. (2007). Looking Forward, Looking Back: Anticipation Is More Evocative Than Retrospection. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 136(2), 289–300. Link.
This is one of the key papers showing that anticipation itself carries emotional value.
Kumar, A., Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilovich, T. (2014). Waiting for Merlot: Anticipatory Consumption of Experiential and Material Purchases. Psychological Science, 25(10), 1924–1931. Link.
A lovely study showing that anticipating experiences tends to generate more happiness than anticipating material purchases.
More
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