This week’s Better You, Backed by Science is about empathy – but a special kind.
Why Celebrating Others Makes you Happier
Want a simple way to feel happier and more connected?
Be happy for people.
It’s the science of positive empathy.
Positive empathy
If someone we care about is going through a difficult time, what do we do?
We empathise. We support them. We share their pain.
“A problem shared is a problem halved,” as they say.
We often think of empathy as shared pain. But there’s another form of empathy — positive empathy.
It’s where we share in someone’s happiness. We empathise with their good news, not just their hard times.
And unlike a shared problem, it doesn’t halve.
A happiness shared is a happiness doubled.
That’s how positive empathy works.
You feel happier too.
Shared happiness
There’s a word for this — confelicity. There’s also sympathetic joy or mudita.
They all point to the same idea: sharing in someone else’s happiness.
Confelicity comes from the Latin con (with) and felicitas (happiness).
And that’s the thing – you feel happier when you’re happy for other people.
It’s one of life’s secret gifts: if you want to feel happier, practise being happy for others.
And another benefit?
Positive empathy strengthens relationships.
Relationship boost
Most people have experienced feeling closer to someone after supporting them through something difficult.
Shared pain can create closeness.
But it doesn’t have to be pain that’s shared.
Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows that when partners respond positively to each other’s good news — a process known as “capitalisation” — relationship satisfaction increases even more than when they support each other through difficulties.
This extends beyond romantic relationships – to friendships, families, and colleagues.
Sharing joy builds bonds. And strong social bonds matter.
A major analysis of 148 studies, involving over 300,000 people, found that strong social relationships were associated with a 50% increased likelihood of survival over a given time span.
Connection literally supports longevity.
And one powerful way to strengthen connection?
Empathise – not only with people’s struggles, but with their successes.
Try this: Practicing positive empathy
Reflect
Think of something good that’s happened recently in the life of someone you know. It might be small – a good day at work, a compliment they received, a fun moment with their dog.
Smile as you think of it. Mentally say, “I’m so happy that …… happened for ……” Try to feel the meaning of the words.
Allow yourself to feel genuinely happy for them.
Build the muscle
Try this once or twice a day for the next week. Empathy strengthens with practice — both kinds.
Reach out
If you feel inspired, send a message:
“Well done.”
“I’m so pleased for you.”
“I’m rooting for you.”
Small moments of shared joy build strong connections.
Science Box – references
“Capitalisation” research shows that positively responding to a partner’s good news increases relationship satisfaction (Journal of Social and Personal Relationships). Link.
A meta-analysis of 148 studies (over 300,000 participants) found that strong social relationships increase likelihood of survival by 50% (PLOS Medicine). Link.
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