This week’s Better You, Backed by Science email is about something called social buffering – the way human connection helps buffer the effects of stress.
It’s inspired by an experience I had last week. I was just about to speak at the Lifestyle Medicine Summit – an online summit featuring numerous doctors, scientists, and experts in lifestyle medicine – when there was a global internet outage that brought everything to a halt.
My talk was to be on ‘Merging High-Tech Medicine with Kindness’ – essentially about the importance of the human side of medicine.
When the stream finally came back online, mine was the first talk to go ahead.
And as it happened, it turned out to be the perfect talk, because in my opening few lines, I said:
“As the world becomes more high-tech and data-driven, we must remember that behind every data point is a person – a real person!”
It couldn’t have been more fitting, given that the success of the summit depended on a tech issue.
I was pointing out that no matter how high-tech and sophisticated our systems are, they’re still just tools.
What really carries us through disruption and challenging times isn’t bandwidth or servers; it’s patience, compassion, kindness, and shared humanity. It’s each other.
And we must always remember this.
Kindness and connection aren’t extras in a high-tech world… they’re the glue that keeps it human.
It’s our relationships – with loved ones, friends, colleagues – that help us through difficult times.
When I lost my dad a few years ago, it was support from loved ones and friends that helped me most.
Social Buffering
Psychologists call this “social buffering” – the way human connection helps us cope with stress.
When we experience support or kindness, studies show that our brains release oxytocin, which lowers cortisol, buffers stress, reduces anxiety, and calms the heart.
Social buffering also calms the nervous system and supports immune function.
And it dampens fear – the sort that is associated with a stressful situation.
And overall, it can lead to improvements in mental health.
It’s nature’s reminder that we’re wired for connection, not isolation. Not to sit at our phones, but to sit with each other.
Even brief moments of kindness – a reassuring smile, a few words of empathy – can shift our physiology from stress to safety.
Takeaway
Technology may power our world, but kindness powers us.
The more we lead with humanity, the more resilient we all become – both online and off.
Because even when systems fail, human connection carries us through.
Try This
Take a few moments to consider this:
Who is in your support circle? Who can you call on when things are tough?
Just pausing to think of who these people are gives you a compass for when things are challenging. Because sometimes when life does throw a spanner in the works and we get stressed or overwhelmed, the mind can get fuzzy and knowing who to call on for support doesn’t always come clear.
So doing some prior thinking cuts through that cloudiness.
So take those few moments today and get clear on who is in your support circle. Family? Friends?
Want to explore more?
🎥 Watch my YouTube video where I talk more about this and explore social buffering a bit more.
References (if you’re curious)
-A paper on how social buffering mitigates the effects of stress. Get it here
-Social buffering relieves stress and anxiety. Get it here
-Social buffering dampens fear. Get it here
-Social buffering enhances immune function (paper showing this effect in women undergoing treatment for breast cancer). Get it here
-How oxytocin buffers the stress response. Get it here.
More
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