This week’s Better You, Backed by Science is about conversation and the error of sometimes judging one as boring too soon.
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation about something you weren’t particularly interested in?
Maybe it was someone talking about their garden, the weather, or even a hobby you didn’t know anything about.
You possibly assumed the conversation would be boring before it even began. But then… you found yourself enjoying it.
Maybe the person told you something surprising. Maybe you discovered you had something in common. Or you might simply have just enjoyed the interaction.
Well, fascinating new research suggests this happens more often than we might think. It showed that we tend to underestimate how enjoyable conversations about supposedly boring subjects will be.
It’s Not About the Subject
In a study published in 2026, researchers conducted nine experiments involving 1,800 people. They asked them to predict how much they would enjoy conversations about subjects they considered boring.
The participants then had actual conversations, either with friends or strangers, in person or online. Afterwards, they rated how enjoyable and interesting the conversations had been.
And something quite important emerged.
They consistently enjoyed the conversations more than they expected to. Even when both people considered the subject boring.
So why does this happen?
The researchers suggested that when we imagine a conversation, we tend to focus on the subject. Not the person. Not the interaction. Just the subject.
It’s the easiest thing to judge beforehand. If the subject sounds boring, we assume the conversation will be boring too. And we often make the same assumption about the person.
But we’re overlooking something important.
A conversation isn’t just an exchange of information about a subject. It’s an interaction between two people. A connection.
There’s the back-and-forth. There’s listening, responding, the unexpected things we discover. And often a feeling of connection, even if it’s just a flicker.
These are things we don’t really anticipate before the conversation begins. We just think about the subject.
The researchers found evidence that this difference between what we can predict beforehand and what emerges during the interaction helps explain why we underestimate the experience.
A Human Need
I find this particularly interesting because I’ve written a bit about connection over the years. The study suggests we might sometimes miss opportunities for connection simply because we’ve already decided a conversation won’t be interesting.
And we do ourselves out of something that’s healthy. Connection, even if it’s just a moment or two.
And I think there’s something deeper here too.
Think about some of the people who have become important in your life.
Granted, some might have entered it through extraordinary circumstances. But others may have become part of your life through what began as an ordinary conversation.
A chance meeting or a few words exchanged while waiting for something. Maybe it was a conversation that began with the weather.
We can’t know beforehand which interactions might become meaningful.
So maybe that’s one reason not to dismiss them too quickly.
No matter the subject, think about the deeper story – the human story of our biological need for connection, even short moments. And not just for yourself.
The other person needs connection too. Sometimes, someone starting a conversation with you – even when it’s just pointing out the weather – is an attempt to connect, even if that reason isn’t on the surface of their mind.
It’s simply part of the human story underneath the subject on their lips.
Try This
Here’s something to try this week.
The next time you find yourself in a conversation about something you don’t find particularly interesting, resist the temptation to mentally switch off.
Instead, become curious about the person.
Ask a question. Listen to their answer. Ask another question. Maybe ask their thoughts or opinion. See where the conversation goes.
You don’t have to find every subject fascinating, and not every conversation will turn into something wonderful.
But you might discover that the enjoyment comes less from what you’re talking about and more from the experience of talking together.
Because sometimes what makes a conversation interesting isn’t the subject. It’s the connection we make while talking.
And who knows?
Sometimes a good life begins with a conversation we almost didn’t have.
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