A few weeks ago, I wrote about the Mirror Neuron System — the part of your brain that helps you get better at things simply by watching others do them. Here’s that piece if you missed it: The Science of Action Observation
But there’s something else this system does that’s even more personal – and potentially powerful.
It’s this: your Mirror Neuron System doesn’t just mirror actions. It mirrors emotions.
This means that when you spend time around people who are stressed, anxious, angry, or happy or cheerful… your brain tends to copy them.
It’s part of what psychologists call emotional contagion, and it happens all the time. In fact, a Harvard and UC San Diego study found that between 15–25% of the average person’s emotional state is made up of emotions they’ve picked up from other people.
The Science of Emotional Contagion
And the thing is, we don’t even realise it’s happening.
In one study, people sat facing each other for two minutes in silence, simply letting their minds wander. No conversation. No interaction. Just sitting and looking.
Even with no words spoken, participants absorbed one another’s emotional state.
Why?
Because our faces naturally reflect our thoughts – and your Mirror Neuron System is watching.
When you see someone smile, your mirror neurons simulate their smile, activating the neural pathways of your own smile muscles and generating a corresponding emotional state.
Pretty cool, if you ask me.
Until… you’re around someone who’s anxious, angry, or visibly stressed. We’ve all felt this way so we know how unpleasant these states can be. But we’ve also all caught them from other people without realising.
Because your mirror neurons simulate those emotions – and very quickly, you start to feel them too.
But here’s the good news
You can override this effect.
It’s simple. It’s quick. And I’ve used it many times myself.
Try this
Here’s a 3-step process I developed a few years ago to stop absorbing other people’s negative states:
1. Notice it happening.
You can’t override emotional contagion unless you first notice it.
As soon as you catch yourself absorbing someone else’s state — pause. That awareness is your power.
2. Move your face — on purpose.
To override your mirror neurons, consciously move your facial muscles. It’s important that you do this mindfully, with the awareness that you’re intentionally interrupting the mimicry.
Even subtle movements help – stretch your eyebrows, shift your jaw slightly, lift the corners of your mouth. Do it playfully if needed!
3. Reclaim your body language.
Straighten your posture. Relax your face. Take a slow, conscious breath. This reinforces your own state instead of unconsciously mirroring someone else’s.
Sometimes the shift happens in seconds. Sometimes it takes half a minute. But it works.
References (if you want to check out the research)
Harvard / UC San Diego 15-25% study
Silent emotional contagion study
Want to go deeper?
🎥 Watch my YouTube video where I explain emotional contagion and demonstrate the deflecting technique.
📘 If you’re interested in exploring Mirror Neurons further, I wrote an entire book called ‘The Contagious Power of Thinking’ a few years back. You can find it on Amazon if you want to explore.
🧠 Take my ‘Pay What you Want’ online course (there’s no fixed cost) on how to deflect negative emotions. Here’s a link to check it out.
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