Kindness at the Helm: Rethinking Leadership

Middle-aged businesswoman receiving praises from multi ethnic colleagues. She is wearing a pale blue blouse and black skirt, has medium length blond hair, and is smiling broadly.
image: iStock

It’s a topic that is often overlooked in discussions about leadership, but one that is becoming increasingly important in today’s world: kindness in leadership.

For starters, kindness isn’t just a ‘nice to have’ trait; it’s an important aspect of effective leadership. And it’s healthy, for individuals and organisations.

Being kind impacts brain regions in ways that dial down the intensity of stress and boosts positive mood. Kindness also relaxes nerves, reduces blood pressure, and even supports the immune system. Kindness isn’t just something that you do that sort-of-feels-nice and satisfying, it’s a powerhouse in terms of how it affects health. I’ve written more about this in other blogs and books.

From a health perspective alone it’s sensible to create an atmosphere and culture of kindness, where people feel safe and valued.

But what about kindness as part of our leadership practices?

How do we be kind leaders?

When we think of leadership, we typically think of qualities like decisiveness, vision, or strength. These are important, of course, but so too is the ability and willingness to be kind. In fact, we’re now also beginning to learn that kindness can play a huge role in effective leadership.

Now, kindness in leadership isn’t about being overly lenient. Nor is it about avoiding making difficult decisions. It’s about handling decisions with care and respect. A kind leader can still be firm and decisive, but do so in a way that considers the well-being of others.

Being a kind leader is really about approaching leadership with empathy, compassion, and a genuine concern for the needs, feelings, and well-being of each other.

What we specifically do in any given situation evolves naturally from there. But the starting point is here: empathy, compassion, and a genuine concern for the needs, feelings, and wellbeing of others.

What are some of the practical ways we can show kindness in leadership?

So how can we introduce this starting point into leadership? Here are some of the principles and practices that emerge naturally from it.

-Acknowledge people’s opinions so that they feel heard. 

-Praise efforts and achievements so people feel valued.

-Say thank you. Now, this might seem obvious, but I wish to express the point that what might feel seemingly small from the perspective of the person saying ‘Thanks’, can sometimes feel huge for the recipient. It makes them feel seen, heard, valued and respected.

-Offer supportive feedback rather than criticism. When there’s a need for improvement, offer guidance and support, and express confidence in a person’s ability to learn and grow. This leaves a person feeling a sense of, “I can do this. And if I’m finding it difficult then I know that help will always be available for me.”

-Be accessible. Whether it’s through an open-door policy or regular check-ins, ensure that your team knows they can approach you with their concerns or ideas.

-Listen actively. Show that you value people’s opinions by giving them your full attention and consider their input, and their feelings, in your decisions.

-Encourage open communication. 

-And make an effort to understand the perspectives of team members. And this bit is key: respond in ways that acknowledge people’s feelings, needs, and perspectives. It shows that you really care. This helps leaders connect with teams on a human level. And that makes all the difference.

All in, kindness in leadership is about creating an environment where people feel heard, valued, and respected. 

Taking this general – kind – approach to leadership can go a long way to helping build strong relationships, and these, as we know, are crucial for teamwork and collaboration.

And I’d also add that, as a general guiding principle, be kind because you never know what people are dealing with behind closed doors. There are times when we all try to bring our professional selves to the table, but the smiles we wear can sometimes mask challenging experiences we’re living through, whether at home, work, or elsewhere. Never underestimate how important some kindness can be to someone who is trudging through a difficult time in their life.

Some benefits of kindness in leadership

There are numerous benefits to taking a kind approach in leadership. Here are just a few:

Increased Trust: Kind leaders build trust. They create a space where team members can relax and be more themselves. Trust creates a safe space where employees feel comfortable sharing their ideas, concerns, and mistakes. This can make a big difference in terms of innovation and problem-solving. 

Higher Employee Engagement: Employees who feel appreciated and valued are more engaged, motivated, and committed to their work. They are more likely to go the extra mile. They show more creativity and contribute positively to the organization.

Reduced staff Turnover: People are more likely to stay with an organization where they feel respected and valued.

Better Decision-Making: Kindness in leadership doesn’t mean avoiding tough decisions. In fact, kind leaders are often better decision-makers because they take the human impact of their choices into account. They consider how their decisions will affect their team and look to find solutions that are fair and just.

Positive Organizational Culture: When leaders model kindness, it sets the tone for the entire organization. It fosters a culture of collaboration, respect, and support. This positive culture can improve overall job satisfaction and organizational performance.

In closing, I want to emphasize that kindness isn’t just a moral imperative in leadership; it is also a practical and strategic approach that can lead to better outcomes for both individuals and organizations. 

As leaders, we can shape the environments in which we work. By leading with kindness, we create spaces where people feel they belong, feel valued and respected, where they can thrive, where innovation can flourish, and where organizations can achieve sustainable success.

Remember that kindness is not a sign of weakness, as once was thought. It’s a strength. It is a powerful tool that, when used wisely, can transform teams, organizations, and ultimately, the world.

Sources

This article is based on Chapter 8 of my book, The Joy of Actually Giving a F**k (Hay House, July 2024)

Book cover of The Joy of Actually Giving a Fuck. Large light blue writing on a bright yellow background.

And for a good read on compassion-based leadership, I’d recommend the Harvard Business Review article, ‘Leading with compassion has research-based benefits‘, by Stephen Trzeciak, Anthony Mazzerelli, and Emma Seppälä.

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2 Comments

  1. Sue on September 19, 2024 at 8:54 am

    Wow. I am a retired nursing manager, kindness and compassion were always my watchwords. I have to say I was often told you need to be less kind by my managers. It is so good to have a voice like yours advising the world’s big business. Building kindness into our society is probably the most important job humans have to do. Well done for speaking out, holding true to your beliefs. Thank you.

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